


Stars

by boychik



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: Books, Childhood, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-20 18:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boychik/pseuds/boychik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nageki loves the nights at Hatoful House, when the clamor of day fades and the only thing left in his world is Hitori and books.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stars

Nageki loves the nights at Hatoful House, when the clamor of day fades and the only thing left in his world is Hitori and books. 

It’s their tradition to read together before lights out, Nageki propped up in Hitori’s lap or on sprawled over his knee. Hitori takes his time with the words, letting the sounds roll clear and lush from his tongue.

Hitori’s voice is so gentle, yet expressive. When he reads to Nageki, he does all the different voices. The funnier he makes them, the more Nageki laughs. That’s all he really needs to hear: that bubbling exhale conjures wells of love in Hitori’s heart.

“What shall we read tonight?” Hitori asks, though as expected Nageki toddles over to the bookcase and pulls out the leather-bound edition of _Night on the Galactic Railroad._ They’ve already read it three times over the course of the month. “This again?” Hitori smiles. Nageki is so cute, standing under the white-curtained window, the slim black volume cradled against his body like a tome. It impresses him, too, how much Nageki loves to read at such a young age, more so than any of the other children at the orphanage.

Once they’re settled into each other, Hitori begins:

_“So you see, boys and girls, that is why some have called it a river, while others see a giant trace left by a stream of milk. But does anyone know what really makes up this hazy-white region in the sky?”_

In his head Nageki thinks, The Milky Way! But again Giovanni fails to deliver the correct answer, and trudges home from school, teary and flushed.

The grains of sand in the teachers’ lens are like the stars spilled across our galaxy. “How big is the galaxy?” Nageki asks Hitori. In response, Hitori scoops Nageki up and draws back the curtain of the window. They look outside. “The galaxy is huge. It’s bigger than you can see,” explains Hitori, and Nageki goggles at him. “There’s some light pollution around here, so it’s harder to see the stars. But if you look carefully, you can still see the constellations.” The sky is as dark as Nageki has ever seen it, and he can’t make sense of it, as there’s no beginning or end or form to what he sees. But by following his brother’s guiding hand, he sees a cluster of stars. “Do you see the brightest star?” Hitori asks. Nageki nods. “That’s Regulus. If you connect the dots in your head, it makes a constellation called Leo, the Lion.” Nageki doesn’t really think the stars look like a lion. He wonders what it would be like to fly to a star. Could you live there? Everyone could live on their own beautiful star. When you woke up in the mornings, you could wave to your neighbor and at night everyone would assemble to see each other’s constellations.

They head back to their post on the twin bed, pull the frayed blanket around their bodies, and snuggle up to read some more.

For each page of text there is an opposite illustration. Nageki is still too young to read fluently, so all the while Hitori is speaking he fixes his eyes on the pictures.

On one page, streetlights illuminate a group of children running down the road to the Milky Way Festival. All but Giovanni are wearing freshly pressed kimonos. Fireworks bloom far above their heads as Giovanni slinks off towards the store.

The artist has drawn Giovanni with care. Thin strokes of ink frame his face, and fatten out in the curls of his black hair. In the pictures, it is night. From an aerial perspective, Giovanni looks very dark and small, but when Nageki sees a close-up picture, Giovanni’s face is full as the sun and his mouth is bright.

Giovanni doesn’t have a brother, but he has a friend named Campanella. He is compassionate, which Hitori says means he cares about other people. The other children in the story are not compassionate. They tease Giovanni, without a shred of mercy. Nageki spends much of his time sick, but no one is cruel to him and he doesn’t have to work the way Giovanni does. It’s probably better to be sick and have compassion than to be healthy and have no compassion, Nageki decides.

Giovanni and Campanella have a pact. Hitori explains that “pact” means they have a promise that cannot be broken. Wherever Giovanni goes, Campanella will also go. “Just like you and me,” Hitori says. The next pages show them together, looking at the canopy of stars, more real than any diagram they’ve seen in books or maps. They board a train, unlike any train they have ever seen. Campanella is taller than Giovanni and his hair is the color of sand, of the stars. His cheeks are red as apples as he gazes out at the misted island with Giovanni. Dazzling blue gentians tower along the edges of the rails. A blinding, haloed cross shines like a gigantic star.

“Like a supernova,” Hitori says. He doesn’t tells Nageki that the half the stars they can see are already dead.

Nageki is surprised when at one point Hitori stops doing the voices. He’s very serious, squinting at the page.

_“‘I'd go to the ends of the earth to make my mum happy,’ said Campanella, doing his best to hold back the tears. ‘But I just can't figure out what would make her happiest.’_

_‘At least there's nothing at all wrong with your mum,’ exclaimed Giovanni, somewhat surprised himself._

_‘Oh, I dunno. It's just that, I mean, a person creates happiness around him when he does something good. That's why I'm sure my mum will forgive me.’”_

In one chapter, Giovanni and Campanella eat birds made of cake. Hitori worries about this, but Nageki isn’t bothered at all. He laughs at the absurdity: Who in this day and age would eat a bird? A bird that’s not even a bird, but a cake, no less? It’s completely crazy.

Suddenly, Campanella has vanished from the train. The picture shows the boys playing at the river. Campanella diving into the black, freezing water. Zanelli choking, spluttering up water. His chest heaves like Nageki’s does often, when he’s ill, but finally he voids all the water from his lungs and lies still on the banks of the river.

Campanella does not come back up.

***

Tonight, Nageki made Hitori stay by his side until he fell asleep. Hitori worries that maybe it’s wrong to read this book to Nageki so often, that maybe the cycle of the Galactic Railroad will become engraved in his mind, this cycle of hope and beauty and death. It’s tortuous how deeply the questions have scratched and wormed their way into Hitori’s mind. When they reach the chapter asking, _What is true happiness?_ Hitori cannot answer. The only thing he associates with true happiness is Nageki. Why can’t he come up with another response? Happiness has to exist, otherwise what is the point of living?

_So long as Nageki is in this world, happiness exists._

Maybe he should say a little prayer?

Hitori draws the white curtains over the window on his way out, blocking the constellations. He closes Nageki’s door without a sound, slips the bolt as a cautionary measure. It’s much safer than to give him up to drowned boys and dead stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, if you slit my chest open, under all the bone and fat and tissue there would just be a big ball of cheese instead of a heart...  
> Anyway, I wanted to imagine Nageki's reaction to this book as a child, since it was so important to him in the game. I think Night on the Galactic Railroad has a lot of resonance with Nageki and Hitori's life.
> 
>  
> 
> You can read Night on the Galactic Railroad here:  
> http://www.grex.org/~n8rxs/main.htm  
> It's a beautiful story.
> 
> Also, 99% of this song fits perfectly.  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23E9jsmQmso


End file.
